You let people go easily. How to let go of a person and a situation that has been tormenting you for years. Why is this needed at all?

Introspection

Sometimes it happens that we feel that we need to let a person go, because it will be better for both us and him. In this case, you need to analyze the situation in order to realize: without him, your life will change for the better. No matter how much your heart ache, no matter how nostalgia torments you, try to think rationally. Undoubtedly, this can be very difficult, but in some situations you just need to turn off your feelings. Therefore, if you yourself have decided to say goodbye to a person whose relationship has brought you troubles, praise yourself for your rationality and do not allow yourself to succumb to emotions. Each of us must choose the life and those people who bring us spiritual and emotional pleasure. Therefore, if you feel that you are uncomfortable around a person, you always need to let him go. And we’re not just talking about technical situations when you are offended. It happens that the relationship seems to be normal, even good, but you understand that you are not on the same path with this person, because you have different views, different attitudes towards situations, and so on. In this situation, you should not force yourself, explaining your behavior by saying that you feel sorry for the person, you have been friends for a long time, and so on. Sometimes we have to let go of even old friends, because we grow, change, gain experience, and with some people we simply diverge. And so that in the end your relationship does not end in mutual hatred, you just need to separate in time and let each other go.

Say no to nostalgia

Many of us cannot let go of a person because we constantly think about him, remember various situations, listen to songs that evoke associations associated with him, watch films with similar stories. With this approach and attitude, you will naturally not forget about the one you want to let go for a very long time. In some situations, it is easier for men in this regard, because they do not have the habit of talking about the same thing a hundred times, remembering every little thing, and so on. But girls constantly want to remember, discuss with friends the person who left their lives, as if this brings them some kind of pleasure. If you know that you are just such a woman, try to literally forbid yourself to fall into nostalgia. As soon as you feel like you want to talk about something, listen to a song or watch a movie, use your willpower to switch to something else. At first it will be very difficult for you, but over time you will get used to it and learn to control your emotions. When we fall into nostalgia, we ourselves want to suffer, because we believe that if we cry all our tears dry, it will become easier. There is indeed some truth in this: in order to survive something, you must first cry. But your sadness should not turn into a protracted depression, which is what constant nostalgia causes. So always try to live for today and not think about what once happened. In the past you have experienced good moments and they should remain in your memory, but if you constantly live only by them, then in the end your life today will go downhill. Always remember this and try at all costs to think only about the future.

Don't be selfish

It happens that we cannot let go of a person because we feel hurt and bad without him. And we are talking both about letting someone go to another city or country, and about simply giving a person more freedom of action and not tying him to oneself. The fact is that no matter how good and kind we are, every person is inherently selfish. It’s just that some people can restrain and control their selfishness, but for others such behavior is normal. If you cannot let go of a person for this very reason, remember what the concept of “true love” means. If we love a person sincerely and truly, then we always wish him well, we always wish him a life in which he will be as happy as possible. And even if this life begins to take place in another city, or even country, if for this life he needs people besides you, you must come to terms with this and wish the person happiness. You love him, you love him so much that you can’t let go. This means that, guided by your love, you need to realize that it will be happiness for this person to give him the opportunity to get what he wants. Of course, no one says that it will be easy and simple for you. But try to imagine how he laughs happily, how his eyes light up. Think about this every time you feel sad and want to tie a person to you. The more you think about his happiness, the easier it will be for you to come to terms with the fact that you are no longer as close as before. Especially if this person is really dear to you. You'll just appreciate meetings more.

Matter of habit

Very often we cannot let go of a person because we are simply accustomed to certain things, pastimes, and so on. In fact, we are not as attached to a person as to a measured life in which there are no surprises and everything seems to be planned out in advance. Naturally, when such a person disappears, we have a lot of free time with nothing to occupy it and we become scared. That's why we start to miss people and try to bring them back. But in fact, instead of chasing the past, you need to learn to look for new activities, hobbies, and so on. Instead of suffering without a person, just change your life, start doing what you couldn’t do with him. We are sure that you had desires for which you simply did not have enough time. Then it seemed to you that you could do without it, but if you analyze the situation again, now that you have free time, rest assured that you will understand how much you haven’t done and how many unfulfilled desires you have left. So do this, instead of staring at the wall and tormenting yourself that your planned life no longer corresponds to the schedule that once developed and became familiar to you. Rest assured, some time will pass and you will understand that the new way of life is no less interesting for you than the old one. There is no need to become too attached to a certain lifestyle. Changing things up from time to time is a very good thing. So remember this, and that the person you loved and perhaps still love, gave you the opportunity to learn something new.

“Don’t be sad,” said Alice.

- Sooner or later everything will become clear,

everything will fall into place

and will line up into a single beautiful scheme,

like lace. It will become clear

why was everything necessary?

because everything will be right."

« Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Have you ever gotten “stuck” in some situation? Replaying events over and over again, down to the smallest detail, reliving the feelings that were at that moment. “N years (months or days) have passed, and I still can’t forget how I “screwed up” then - sound familiar?

Or here’s another popular story: “We broke up three years ago, but I just can’t believe that we won’t be together, I hope for a miracle, because we are made for each other!” - sound familiar?

If yes, then most likely you:

• You constantly feel physically and mentally tired;
• If you are dissatisfied with yourself (appearance, behavior, relationships, work) - everything is wrong;
• You can’t build a relationship or meet your man;
• Feel irritated, live in stress;
• You suffer from insomnia or headaches.

“What are these points for? — you ask, “How is it all connected?” The answer is simple: you spend a colossal amount of precious life energy on relationships and situations that have already passed. You are stuck in the past.

Every time you replay an event in your head or remember a failed romance, you spend energy needed for well-being, appearance, relationships, or maintaining a family, business, or creativity.

You live there, in your past or illusory future. Who lives instead of you here and now? The lifeless ghost of whatever is haunting you?

The connection with an event or person can be both on an emotional level and on a physical or mental level. It doesn’t matter what level, or maybe there is more than one, and everyone is blocked at once. There is only one result: if there is a connection, you lose energy and vitality, you are unable to move forward, build a happy future.

Do you want to let it go so that new positive impulses, relationships, opportunities and strengths can come into your life? Then write down ten steps that will help you let go. Believe me, if it is truly yours, it will definitely return, but in better quality and better embodiment.

Ten steps to help you let go of the past

Step one. Find the courage to let go. We get used to living with these feelings, living in a state of victimhood, being unhappy. It is always easier to be unhappy than to be happy. Write in a notebook or on a piece of paper: “I am brave enough to let go of the situation (person) and go to a new happy life.” Your firm and sincere decision is half the battle; the processes have been launched on a subconscious level and transformations have already begun, even if you do not understand or feel it yet.

Step two. Let your emotions out. We often say that uncryed and unlived emotions are the right path to a psychotherapist. Any cleansing begins with experiencing emotions. Decide how, when, and how long you will allow yourself to grieve the event or express anger about it. Decided? Then do it honestly: cry from your heart exactly as much as you have determined. Take a pillow and beat it with anger and hatred. Only honestly, no less, but exactly as much as they decided. It can be 15 minutes or an hour, it all depends on your decision.

Step three. Switch your attention to a new activity: go on a trip, play sports, go to the theater or cinema, have lunch with friends. The main thing is to start living here and now. Start writing down your five brightest and most positive moments at the end of the day.

Step four. Close your eyes. Remember your story. Associate yourself with it, as if you were there again. Now, sort of move the picture aside, imagine in front of you a TV in which what happened to you is happening, imagine how you are watching a movie about yourself and everyone who is there. Try adding some color to this movie. You may want to draw a new frame or “horns” for your interlocutor. You will notice that the situation no longer affects you as much - it’s just a movie. Turn off the TV and go into your new life.

Step five. Write a letter to your abuser in which you blame him for what happened. Don't be shy in your expressions, you won't send it to the right address. Have you written? Then burn it with the firm intention of never returning to it. Now go to your new happy life.

Step six. Write another letter. Express your gratitude to the person or situation and the conclusions you learned from what happened. Remember that this letter should only contain positive language. Without using the particle “no”, in the present tense. For example, “I am grateful that I have learned to be kinder.” You can keep this letter for yourself and even re-read it sometimes, and maybe after some time you will add a couple of thanks or lessons to it.

Step seven. Every time a story from the past comes to mind, find the place in your body where it lives. Try to feel with your body what this shape is (color, size, texture), examine it carefully, and then take ten sharp exhalations to the left side, as if exhaling it from your body.

Step eight. Remove things that remind you of an event or person from prominent places, at least for a while, until you finally understand that you no longer return to unpleasant thoughts and memories.

Step ten. Cleanse yourself with feminine energy practices. Every nineteenth lunar day of the month, a club session is held at the Academy. We conduct practices, the effect of which will intensify on this day.

Love is a great feeling that inspires and makes people better. But how difficult it is to meet mutual, true love in this life. As a rule, usually one loves, and the second takes advantage of this and leaves at the first opportunity. It is difficult to be in the place of the other half that is being used. After all, when the first frantic love passes, it becomes clear who really loves and who takes advantage of the helplessness of their partner.

Being next to a loved one, hugging your loved one and falling asleep in a warm embrace is the height of bliss. But what to do when you begin to understand that your other half is suffering from the fact that falling in love has passed, and there is no longer anything that would keep you close? The best thing in this situation is to let go and forget. It's very painful, no one argues. But it really will be better for both.

Just don’t decide to do this spontaneously. Breaking off a relationship is not as easy as it might seem. Think about each step, “scroll” this situation in your head and act.

Why you need to let go of someone who doesn't love you

There are a lot of signs that show that it is necessary to let go of the person leaving. Here are just the most important of them:

You find yourself humiliating yourself in front of your partner, begging for reciprocal feelings.

It’s not for nothing that they say that all lovers see the world in pink. Maybe not the world, but the object of one’s adoration, for sure. We don’t notice our partner’s shortcomings, mistakes, and even more so, how he really treats you.

But on an intuitive level, everyone is able to understand that something wrong is happening. Are there no answers to your tender feelings? Are you paying less and less attention and your partner is trying to spend more and more time not with you? It's time to think and take off your rose-colored glasses. Analyze and prepare for impact. Sooner or later he will follow. Just don’t beg for love and don’t humiliate yourself, it will be even more offensive later.

Intimacy and nothing more.

Don't think that this can't happen. After all, your partner’s feelings can only be dictated by carnal passion, which you, at first, mistook for love. No one is saying that physical intimacy is not important. But this is not the main thing in a relationship. Passion will pass over the years, but people must feel love for each other in order to continue living together. Where has the love gone? Was she there?

You trust your loved one too much, but he doesn’t trust you.

A loving person becomes blind in his feelings. He trusts his partner with all his problems, shares them, seeks understanding and help. But take a closer look, do they really trust you? Does your loved one tell you about his difficulties and hardships or does he hide the truth? Also, does he keep his word to you? Do you need to cry into your pillow from resentment when once again you were deceived or did not fulfill a promise? Or just let it go and forget?

Sacrifice yourself, but this cannot be done.

What keeps a person who doesn't love you next to you? Of course it's a benefit. He's just comfortable around you. In addition, out of a sense of selfishness, an unloving person tries to force you to prove your love for him. That is, in every suitable situation, sacrifice yourself. If you find yourself having to sacrifice your plans, tastes or judgment several times in a row, then you are definitely being taken advantage of. Think about it and observe. But stop sacrificing yourself. No one needs this dedication, least of all you.

After analyzing the pros and cons, you decide that your partner does not love you. So how can you give up the obsessive illusion that everything can still be fixed? The time will come and this will still have to be done. So let this happen when you are ready for a serious conversation and a break.

Let go and forget

There are only two options for breaking up with a person who doesn’t love you:

“You yourself will decide to take this step and take the initiative into your own hands.” This is very difficult, but sometimes, in order not to expose yourself to even more pain, it is better to do just that;

“The day will come when your loved one will simply slam the door and leave, leaving behind the bitterness of resentment.

In any of the options, you will be incredibly painful and annoyed. Misunderstanding of what is happening, bitterness and pain - this is what awaits you after a breakup. But now we need to think about what to do next. It is necessary to get out of this situation as calmly as possible and cause yourself the least harm.

A person who loves deeply has difficulty realizing that there is no reciprocal feeling. He grabs the thread of his love like a life preserver. It seems to him that if he lets go of this “straw”, he will drown. Don't imagine feelings for your partner as saving. You were alone until this moment, so now you are not afraid to remain alone in the future. Not only has your loved one never saved you, but now he won’t help you. For what? After all, he doesn't need you. Don’t think that when he disappears from your life, everything will be covered in darkness. This is wrong! The false hopes you place on your loved one will not come true. Some time after the breakup, you will understand that the world is bright and interesting even when the one you love so much is not around.
Learn to be grateful. After all, by and large, it is not your loved one’s fault that he does not have a reciprocal feeling for you. It happened that way. Forgive him for not being able to give you happiness and love, for not being able to understand in time that there are no feelings, and don’t blame him for anything. Accept that the reasons that prevented you from being loved may never be known. Most likely, he himself cannot name them.
Take a piece of paper and write on it what you are grateful for to this person. List all the important moments when you felt like the happiest and most unhappy person in the world. Negative emotions are also an experience that will prevent you from making mistakes in the future. Our meetings and partings are not accidental; they give us the opportunity to reflect and learn from our mistakes and failures. Just don’t be disingenuous with yourself, sincerely thank your loved one for being in your life.
To restore your peace of mind and avoid doing anything stupid at the time of separation, try meditating. It is not difficult. You need to know the sequence of actions and get ready to relax.

- In order to, you need to stay in the room alone. It is advisable to know that no one will disturb you at this time;

— Turn off the TV, phones and doorbell;

— Sit comfortably in a chair, on a sofa, on the floor and relax;

— Turn on any meditation course you find on the Internet and close your eyes.

Make a boat out of paper and set it floating along a river or stream. Think that troubles and misfortunes will float away with it, and the fresh current will bring you only joy. Wish the ship a happy voyage and say parting words.
Buy shoes a size smaller, give them a big name “ADDEPENDENCE”, put them on and don’t take them off all day. At the end of the day, when you kick off these terrible shoes, you will realize that life without addiction is much easier.

No matter how the breakup happens, keep yourself in control. Yours will not pity anyone. Moreover, a person who does not love you will not love you now.

Let's return to the two scenarios discussed above.

So, you have decided that the person next to you does not love you at all, but is only using you. It’s difficult to decide to break up on your own, but it’s better today than later, when it will be even more painful. Think through the details of the conversation and the moments that may become key. Warn your partner that you want to have a serious conversation with him. Prepare a delicious dinner and set the table beautifully. Let this be another noble gesture on your part. Don't start a conversation over food, find topics that are close and interesting to both of you. Now that you are both calm, you can start the conversation. Talk about how good it was for you together. Explain to the person that you understand perfectly well that he does not love you and further stay together will only be torment. Don't lie and don't take the blame. Never say that you have found someone else. After all, this deliberate lie will cause a feeling of possessiveness in someone who doesn’t love you, which will force him to stay with you, and then you will be completely confused in your relationship.
The second option is much more complicated. Usually the partner leaves unexpectedly, sometimes without even warning about his departure. You return home and there is a note. Or it happens during a scandal, when your loved one, having showered you with insults, packs up his things and runs away into the night forever. The first desire is to run after. After all, he was offended by you. This means you are to blame, and therefore you urgently need to apologize. Stop! Don't rush things. This is another test of whether your significant other loves you or not. If he loves you, he will definitely return. And if not, then there is only one way out - let go once and forget.

Cut it off! Everything that happened until the moment you closed the door behind your unfulfilled dream. Every adult has experienced this at least once in their life. We fall in love, lift the object of our adoration to the skies, and he lowers us to the ground with complete indifference. There are few lucky people in the world who have not experienced a fiasco in love.

Only one thing can be said with certainty - it will be painful and offensive, sleepless nights and a sea of ​​​​tears await you. Cry, throw out negative emotions and bitter feelings, pour out the negativity and calm down. Don't believe anyone who says tears are not a cure. First of all, tears are the best release of negative emotions that cannot be kept to yourself. Another thing is that you don’t want anyone else to see your suffering. Again, an outsider. Close people can understand your pain and help you overcome this misfortune. This pain will accompany you for some time, but you need to move on with your life. No matter how much it hurts you, do not try to win back someone who has left. If he has feelings for you, he will return, and if you were right and they don’t love you, it’s better to let him go.

Every time you wake up in the morning, you are a new person. What filled you yesterday and made you who you are may no longer fill you today. Although it may be hard to believe, letting someone go may be in the best interest of today's you. It's possible that the person you loved has died, you've just broken up with a loved one, you need to get over an unrequited love, or you have nothing left in common with a friend. Letting go of someone can be the next step to happiness, and that's what really matters. Let's start.

Steps

How to let go of your ex

Give free rein to your feelings. First of all, it is good to grieve. Emotions are a good thing. Crying is normal and healthy. It's good to be angry. Whatever you feel, these emotions are normal and need to be released. Once the period of letting out your feelings and emotions passes, the healing process will begin. There is a certain clear process of letting go of a person and a process of spilling out feelings, when people can do strange things, such as dyeing their hair in unusual colors, eating up their grief with tons of ice cream, and so on. Let it be.

• The first thing you will most likely feel is denial, which will be replaced by anger. At first you will not feel what is happening as real, and when you do, the words exchanged will cause you anger and pain. So that your worries about your breakup don't add to your worries about how you cope with this breakup, just know how it happens. The emotions you experience are part of you. You are not crazy and you are not a bad person. You are just a person.

1. Don't embellish the past. You may begin to replay and relive the good moments you had. In bed, they will play in your brain like a broken record. But if the person came back to you, after 10 minutes you would think, “That’s right. That’s why we didn’t succeed.” It's just that when you experience such strong emotions, it is difficult to remember all the bad things you had. Remember that if you start thinking all the time about the good moments that happened between you, you will not see the situation for what it really is.

2. Move away from the person as much as possible. Letting go is essentially a euphemism for forgetting. When you just don't care about a person. This may sound a little harsh, so another, softer word was coined. In general, distancing yourself from a person is the only way to quickly forget him. Remember when you found a long-lost and forgotten shirt in your closet and said to yourself, “Oh my God!” I loved this shirt so much! How could I forget that I even had it?” Yeah. Out of sight, out of mind.

   • Of course, for many people this is much, much easier said than done. But you can try to limit the time you spend around this person. Use it as an excuse to take up a new hobby, to discover a new fun place to have a good time, or to hang out with new people from time to time. Don't adjust your life to the person you're trying to forget, but think about your interests.

3. Don't relegate yourself to the background. After you've been angry and sad and made a deal with the devil that you'll never be together with that dumbass again, there will come a few days or weeks that will seem like an eternity when you'll wonder how it happened and you'll be seem like you're walking in a fog. You will want to distance yourself from everything, but you cannot afford to. You can not. For your own sake, for your better future, you must move forward.

   • This is the moment when you need to do what you want. You are in the foreground. Do whatever makes you happy (as long as it doesn't cause harm, of course). Have a blast. If you want the same ham sandwich as your colleague at work, go ahead. This is the time to live for yourself. Your mantra now should be “me, me, me.” Why? Because you're cool.

4. Don't blame the whole world. Soon you will feel better and the “me, me, me” phase will be replaced by the “me, you, me, you” phase and you don’t need to be angry at everyone in the world. Just because you're jaded and cynical doesn't mean you're gaining experience. It's more like giving up positions. Try to notice the good in people. It really is, you just need to look more closely.

   • Not all men are bastards and not all women are bitches. You may attract assholes, but that's a whole other issue. Take a close look at the people around you and you will see that they are all different.

5. Don't let yourself get bogged down in negative thoughts. The beauty is that your brain is part of you and you can control your thought process. If you start thinking negative thoughts, you can stop those thoughts. Once bad thoughts start, you can remove them. Sometimes it's not that easy to do, but it's possible.

   • Imagine that your bad thoughts are voiced by some cartoon character. For example, Donald Duck. Try saying “I hate myself for being such an idiot” in a Donald Duck voice. It's really hard to take this seriously, huh?
   • Consciously hold your head high. This will signal to your body that you are proud of yourself. When your head is down, your body begins to signal to your brain that you have something to be ashamed of and will feel worse about yourself. Simply raising your head can make a big difference.

6. Reach out to friends for support. Your support group is very important to you in this situation. They will help you get distracted and overcome problems. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help, they probably also had similar situations!

   • Ask them to help you not dwell on the current situation. You need to talk about your feelings, but there should be some limit. Ask them to spend 15 minutes with you, but after that, don't engage in a detailed analysis of the situation and your regrets. They can help you not to wallow in your sorrows.

7. Find yourself and love yourself. The reality is that you're probably awesome and what happened was just a little misunderstanding. It is possible that you have been in a similar situation before and overcame it, why can’t you do it now? If you were able to overcome it once, you will be able to overcome it the second time too. You are strong. You just forgot about it. Keep living and you will overcome everything.

   • If you stop living life to the fullest, you will not be able to get out of this situation. When you live (look for new opportunities, enjoy life, surround yourself with things and people you like), the problem will go away on its own and you won’t even notice it happening. Think about who you were before. What did you like? What made you who you are? How good were you?

   How to let go of unrequited love

   1. Re-evaluate the subject of your desire. This person has never valued you and doesn't deserve you to waste your time on them. This is not about the fact that he may not deserve you to spend time on him, this is not even discussed. Take it for granted, no “and if”, “but” and “still”. Doesn't deserve it, period. You deserve to have someone who wants you, who values ​​you, and who wants to be an active part of your life. Those who don't want to can get lost.

      • Take the time to understand yourself better. Look at yourself as objectively as possible. Did your relationship seem reliable to you because it only seemed so to you, but in reality it was not so? Are you comforted by the guarantee that you will never be hurt in a no-commitment relationship? If this has anything to do with the truth, these are your problems that have nothing to do with the other person. This person is simply an idol whom you have endowed with certain traits and deified.

   2. Think about your happiness. It doesn’t matter whether you fell in love with a married man or it’s just a very strong passion, think about whether you were as happy with this person as you could be? Most likely no. Most likely, you simply longed for the relationship that you had pictured in your head. How much was real in this relationship and how much was fictitious, fantasized, planned?

      • It is absolutely clear that this relationship did not meet your expectations and needs, otherwise you would not want it to end. Remember this. Realize this. This relationship is not what you want, but it will be replaced by a relationship that is truly yours. Only for this relationship to come to fruition, you must break up with this one. Well, that's exactly what you're reading this article for. What do I need to do? See step 1.

   3. Don't live with expectations. Life is too short not to live in the moment. The person you are unrequitedly in love with is enjoying life, why can’t you cut him out of your life and do the same? It will be fair. This doesn't mean you need to start a new relationship quickly. This means that you need to communicate with people and do everything in your power to enjoy life.

      • Don't expect anything to change. You will wait a very, very long time. Strictly speaking, you can understand how events will develop in the future by looking at how they developed in the past. Since your relationship ended in a breakup, what makes you think it won't happen again? That's how it is, everything will happen again.
      • Most likely, deep down you understand that this is so. You realize that your relationship was not ideal and you understand that it is logical for you to leave (after all, that is why you are reading this article). If you have such thoughts, do not suppress them and let them command at least a few hours a day. Let them protect you from pain. They will tell you what is best for you: a bachelorette party, daily long runs or a vacation that you have been dreaming about for so long. Whatever it is, write it down in your diary.

   4. Keep him at a distance. Now that you've decided to keep your mental distance, you need to keep your physical distance too. The only way to stop internal torment is to keep him at a distance from you. If it's possible to do it (for example, if he is not your work colleague), do it. The process of weaning off the person will go much, much faster.

      • This does not give you an excuse to sit at home instead of going out with friends, going to the gym or going to class. But this gives you the right to change your usual schedule. Do you always go to the same cafe? Find something new. A specific gym? Come there at another time. Heck, find yourself a completely new hobby!

   5. Be direct. If you see a person, he will ask you questions. There’s no need to invent reasons why you’re avoiding him; everything will be a mess anyway. It is best to tell the truth, but very diplomatically.

      • No one knows the situation better than you and no one can explain it better. No one can argue against “I need some time to figure out what’s best for me.” If he doesn’t like it, all the more you need to leave him (or run away) as soon as possible.

   6. Don't blame yourself. This is not your failure. That's life. It happens to everyone and guess what? You will learn from this. You survived a previous breakup and will survive this one too. You didn't do anything wrong. What you did seemed right to you before. That's all you can do.

      • It is useless to dream about what would have happened if you had done something wrong or said something wrong. You are who you are and if it didn’t work out for you, then it was meant to be. Trying to change yourself is a grueling process that will only lead to fatigue and resentment. It's stupid to blame yourself for being who you are! What else can you be?

   7. Focus on yourself. The time has come for you. This is important not only for you, but also for your future relationships. No one succeeds without realizing who they really are. This does not mean that they are selfish; it means you are logical.

      • What do you like? Come up with at least 5 things and do them over the next 2 weeks. Eventually there will come a time when you let the person go and you won't even notice it. You'll be too busy with the life you're living to notice. When you realize that many months have passed during which you have not thought about this person, you will feel very, very good.

   How to let go of a dead person

   1. Learn not to regret things. When a loved one dies, we are suddenly filled with remorse for what we should have done and didn't, should have said but didn't, or said but shouldn't have said. This can no longer be returned or remade, and these remorse only lead to even greater suffering. Wouldn't the person who left want you to be happy?

      • Regrets are often associated with the process of forgiving oneself. Unfortunately, there are no instructions that would explain how to forgive yourself and the only thing you can do is remember that you are human. You are human and you loved as best you could. Now is the time to focus on the present.

   2. Allow yourself to grieve. The five stages of grief from losing a loved one include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. However, you need to understand that everyone experiences grief differently. And yet you need to experience this process, perhaps by hugging your favorite teddy bear and pouring tears on it, huddling in a corner or running until you lose consciousness. It will get better eventually.

      • How others consider it right to process grief is their own business. How you think it is necessary and correct to do this is what matters to you and nothing more. Anything that is not dangerous (alcohol, drugs, etc.) is normal.

   3. Don't grieve alone. At this moment, you and your loved ones must unite. Sometimes, when you experience grief not alone, but together with loved ones, grief is felt less acutely. United efforts will help speed up the healing process.

      • If you feel like you're the only one grieving the loss of this person, simply being in the company of other people can help. Even if someone just holds your hand, you will feel that you are not alone. That everything will work out. Seek support from the people around you, no matter who they are.

   4. Rediscover yourself. At some point in the past, when you existed without this relationship, you were a different person. And this man still exists. You just need to find it again. You can revive it if you put in the effort.

      • Make connections with people and things from the past. What filled you up before? What made you alive? What is it that you wanted to do all the time? And the last, most important question: What better time to do this than now?

   5. Look to the future. The only reason it seems gloomy to you is because you are wearing dark glasses. The future holds as much hope as there was 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years ago. It all depends on what you do with your future. Instead of dwelling on the past, think about the future. What will it bring?

      • When you hold on to the past, you have no room inside for the future. It is possible that you are missing out on a whole sea of ​​opportunities. Would your loved one like this? To find love, you must give and receive it. You cannot do this if you are completely immersed in what happened in the past.

   6. Write a formal breakup letter. Write in it everything that was never said. Make the letter positive by focusing on all the good things that happened and the joy he brought into your life.

      • You can decide for yourself what to do with this letter. You can keep it close to your heart, send it in a bottle to float across the sea or ocean, or burn it and watch the smoke go into the sky.

   7. Remember that there will come a time when you let the person go. It will come. Not “maybe”, not “maybe”. It will come. You must know and be firmly convinced that this will be the case. For some it will take longer, but it will happen eventually. For now...relax. Let time do its work. Time will heal all wounds.

      • When this starts happening, you may not even notice. Such changes will occur in you that you will not even remember what you were like before. Maybe this is already happening. Maybe you're just standing too close to the painting to see the details. Could this be so? Stupid question. Yes. Yes maybe.

   How to Let Go of Destructive Friendships

   1. Be as positive about it as possible.“There are no bad and good things, our thoughts make them so.” The friendships you're about to walk away from aren't necessarily bad ones. Your refusal simply shows your maturity and seriousness. This suggests that you have found your path in life and this road will not intersect with your friend’s path. That's all. This does not mean that you are betraying your friend or that you are not willing to compromise. You do what you have to do.

      • Every experience and every relationship has its own value. However, some people should be part of our past, not our destiny. And that's okay! Be grateful for the experiences you have because they help you grow. He helped you become the wonderful person you are today.
      Move away from him.
      • Sometimes when something is taken away from people, they begin to want it even more. Your friend may start calling even more often than before. Even if he starts saying that he has realized his mistakes, don’t believe him. You need to step back from the situation, analyze the situation and understand what is really going on.

   2. The same goes for your friend. If he wants to talk about it, tell him so. You both need to not see each other for a while to understand how you feel without each other. To understand what the picture is, you need to step away from it a little. If a few weeks pass and you feel like you want to see him and your friend feels the same, take your time. Sometimes people learn from mistakes. Know what you want to look for in future friendships.

      • This may require you to do a little introspection. What did you like about your friend that kept you together? What do you need that you didn't get in this friendship? What three qualities should your friend have?

   3. Focus on what needs to change. Your friend is a person with his own qualities and habits. No matter how hard you try, you won't change it. And that's okay. He is who he is, and you are who you are. There is no crime in this. But since this cannot be changed, it is not worth wasting your energy on it. Focus on what needs to change for you to become a happier person.

      • The people around you can change. Your worldview may change. Your needs may change. As you grow, focus on these things. Your life will become much clearer if you are at peace with yourself.
   • It is always painful to return your thoughts to the past, but the time comes when you need to cleanse your memory, remove everything unnecessary from there and thereby open new doors.
   • Give yourself time to grieve after the loss of a loved one, but then start a new life, discover a path that is only yours. Make new friends and do things that interest you. Starting a new life alone will not be easy at first, but this new path can bring you joy and fulfillment.
   • Remember that there is no set time allotted for grieving the loss of a loved one. Don't feel guilty if you want to go out to a restaurant with someone 4 or 6 months after your spouse's death. Everyone has their own path and their own time to recover and feel like they can start a new life. You must continue to live for the sake of your loved one who has passed away, and when and how you do this is up to you.
   • Letting go doesn't always mean allowing yourself to be let go. Letting go sometimes means continuing to be with the person, caring for them, but not allowing them to drain you, hurt you, or keep you from living your life.
   • You also have to love yourself and believe in yourself no matter what. Know that everything happens for a reason and people come into and out of our lives all the time, so you shouldn’t suffer for the rest of your life. You should also know that there is a new person waiting for you around the corner, your person.

There are situations in life when parting with a loved one is inevitable. And not everyone is able to survive this moment painlessly. It is impossible to completely and immediately forget your chosen one, especially after a long relationship. But everyone can make this period of life easier. At such a moment, the main thing is to tune in to the right “wave”. Advice from psychologists and effective techniques for working on yourself can help.

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Why shouldn't you hold on to your loved one?

Letting go of the one you love is very difficult. Most women think that if they put in some effort, they will get a response. But it is impossible to force someone to love.

• Signs the appearance of which indicates that it is worth breaking off the relationship:
• the partner does not have reciprocal feelings (sooner or later this can be felt on an intuitive level);
• nothing binds the partners except intimacy (passion passes over time, and there should be something unifying in the relationship);
• there is no trust on the part of a loved one (it is one of the main criteria for a successful and lasting union);

the chosen one manifests a feeling of selfishness (an unloving person thinks only of himself).

If at least one of the above signs is present, then you should think about breaking up. And the sooner this happens, the better.

What does it mean to let someone go? Letting go of a loved one does not always mean falling out of love or forgetting.

• That means:
• learn to live based on your interests;
• stop controlling and not interfering in the personal life of your loved one;
• enjoy life;
• do not hold anger and resentment;
• do not try to take revenge;
• be ready to meet a new person;

learn lessons from what happened.



You should not keep a partner close to you who does not have mutual feelings. This will not bring happiness and joy to either one or the other.

How to do it?

Having realized that the feelings should be mutual, you should not resist, you need to let go of your chosen one.

After a loved one leaves, it is important to forgive him. After all, it’s not his fault that he couldn’t reciprocate.



What happened should be perceived as an invaluable experience, as a chance to build new harmonious relationships. Painful sensations in the soul will help personal growth, make you appreciate and respect yourself.

How to forget?

• It is easier not to think about a man or a woman when:
• the realization comes that there will be no happiness with him;
• there is a radical change in the situation (place of residence, work);
• finding new interests and hobbies;
• There is a lot of communication around with friends and relatives.

When you have a clear understanding that there is no chance that your loved one will return, you should:

• put your thoughts in order;
• focus on your interests;
• rebuild your inner world;
• grow as a person;
• take care of yourself;

Human psychology proves that throwing a loved one out of your thoughts and heart is not so easy. Letting go of your love should be done in stages.

After a breakup, you need to go through all the stages of the breakup; you shouldn’t suppress and hide your emotions. Psychologists give the following advice:

1. 1. You need to give free rein to your emotions. If you want, you need to cry, get angry, scream, sob. You can take a piece of paper and write on it all the thoughts that arise in your head, throw out your negativity on it.
2. 2. Afterwards, you should calm down a little and evaluate what is happening soberly. Sit down and write down the pros and cons of past relationships, but there is no need to embellish.
3. 3. It is important to sincerely wish your loved one all the best and thank you for the wonderful moments.
4. 4. There is no need to look for those to blame for what happened. But there is no need to delve into yourself.
5. 5. It is worth getting rid of things that will remind you of this relationship.
6. 6. You should change your image (hairstyle, clothes, etc.).
7. 7. You need to look for new hobbies and make acquaintances.
8. 8. It is recommended to learn to enjoy every day you live, to enjoy pleasant little things.
9. 9. It is necessary to make plans for the future, to dream.

After passing these stages, the pain from unrequited love will subside and everything will be forgotten.