How to make a lady out of a girl. The main rules for raising a girl. How to teach a girl to be feminine

If you manage to convince a girl under five years old that she is a princess, then in the future she will be able to convince the whole world of this - very fair words that you can’t argue with! If you want to raise a real lady, go for it. The future of your little beauty is solely in your hands!

Start with yourself

First of all, evaluate your own behavior impartially. What examples does your child observe every day? It is not surprising that your princess can grow up to be a scandalous person if you demonstrate quarrels and negative emotions in a colorful way.

It is very important that there is no swearing, swearing, or mutual insults in your home. At least in the presence of my daughter. Remember that the entire responsibility for what kind of person she will grow up to be lies entirely with you.

For example, we always talked to our universal favorite as an adult, an equal interlocutor. We tried to express ourselves elegantly and literary, without “weedy” words.

And she quickly learned this technique. Now teachers and all adults praise her for her creative and correct speech.

Censorship

Strictly censor the films and cartoons she watches and the games she plays. All sources of information should develop nobility, spirituality, intellectuality and other positive traits in your daughter.

It’s better not to leave her face-to-face with the TV, considering what’s on it now. The same goes for computers and other equipment. The function of an intelligent parent as an educator is to exercise caring control.

My niece really likes to watch Zomboyashchik, which is why I’m honestly not happy. I think when I have my own children, they will receive video information in strictly measured doses and only of the highest quality. No nonsense.

That’s why I don’t allow my niece to watch TV for a long time when I’m babysitting her. And I prefer that she be inspired by instructive programs, as well as soulful videos, instead of stupid cartoons and series broadcast on TNT and similar channels.

Personally, I don’t understand those parents and educators who do not filter the information sources on which the child grows up.

Comprehensive development

It is very important that your child develops into a multifaceted personality. To do this, accustom her to work from childhood, teach her the rules of etiquette, constantly give wise, useful advice and instructions, and in every possible way encourage her interest in creativity and knowledge.

It’s not bad if from early childhood your little one communicates with a wide range of people, sees a large number of wonderful places on the planet, and meets many friends.

For example, since childhood, my niece has become accustomed to frequently changing locations and being in contact with a huge number of people. It seems to me that this is an excellent basis for further victories in life.

It is especially important to develop aesthetic taste in a girl. Let her draw, paint, and sculpt more often. Let her combine her outfits and choose her own clothes. Remember that all women raising a little lady must also be at their best.

It is especially important that your little one is not afraid of cameras and video cameras, and is always able to show herself in all her glory, bringing to the fore the advantages of her appearance.

Our girl loves creativity very much. And perhaps this is my merit. I spent a lot of time with her, observing the creative process, and also conveying to her the importance of creativity as a way of life.

Now she can’t decide whether to take vocal classes, go to art school or dance. But still she is more inclined to drawing.

I note that she draws in a very unique way. Or maybe a little genius.

Communication with boys

The future queen should not internalize any harmful stereotypes and prejudices, especially gender ones. Protect her from any chauvinism. Explain to her that people are different, and this does not depend on gender and other similar characteristics.

Our baby has never heard stupid and embittered generalizations from us. So now she evaluates people based on their personality traits.

Your task is to teach her to love and value herself as early as possible. Plus - give smart advice on how to properly contact young representatives of the stronger sex.

For example, we taught our princess not to be afraid of the opposite sex. She can independently take the initiative, for example, when making acquaintances, but she does not cross the line, that is, she avoids obsessive behavior.

“If you want to talk to a boy, come up and talk, but if he doesn’t crave communication, then don’t be upset and look for a new victim of your charm. And never humiliate yourself before anyone." - my niece mastered these recommendations with five points.

And now almost all the neighbors and kindergarten boys are in love with her!)

In a word, if you intend to raise a true lady, try to take everything into account in advance and not make any mistakes anywhere.

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When I was a little older than my child in kindergarten, there was no better game for me than running with the boys behind the pavilion, because you can’t go there. Dolls, hospital clothes and kitchenettes were left in the care of the girls from my senior kindergarten group, and my mother did not put on the dresses that my own child so desired, because I said that it was inconvenient for me to run and jump in them. This is me for comparison.

To tell the truth, I did not and do not intend to raise my daughter to be the heroine of a cartoon about princesses. There, of course, everything is good and rosy, but when the princess is faced with gray everyday life and ordinary everyday problems, she is discouraged (the most suitable word for a princess). Real ladies, in my understanding, are mannered ladies who never held anything heavier than a book in their hand. They look down on you if you don’t know what that 35th fork on your right is for. How can you not know such basic things? Even from mink diapers, a real lady was taught to think that she was the very best and the earth revolved around her. This excess leads to spoiling and an inability to adequately perceive criticism. And then the lady goes to school and meets Masha, who reads faster, Veronica, who dances and sings, and Vova, who at seven knows three languages.

Reality will be cruel for the young lady.

Now the pros. Real ladies are not only spoiled etiquette gurus who are interested in the most fashionable shade of lipstick of the season, but also very educated people. It is interesting to carry on a conversation with them; they are erudite and polite interlocutors. Well, who doesn’t want to see their child exactly like this?

A real lady takes care of her health. Does not forget about the principles of proper nutrition and physical activity. This is a very useful quality that I would like my daughter to carry throughout her life.

Politeness. In my understanding, a well-mannered person with good manners already falls under the concept of “a real lady/gentleman.” Politeness is attractive, and I am already working hard with my lady on this issue.

Get me this dress!

Where's the magic word?

Please!

She will decide for herself whether or not to be a real lady, but I will try to raise a happy girl who, if she wants to play Cossack-robber dress with the boys, will not hear from me: “You’re a lady!” Get this nonsense out of your head!” You need to let your child enjoy his childhood, it’s so fleeting!

It is not without reason that they say that raising a daughter is deep and sacred, since the main attention here is paid not to physical, like with boys, but to ethical and spiritual development. On the other hand, this is colossal work, enormous responsibility and, without a doubt, an art that is taught almost nowhere. Who will reveal the main secret for mothers on how to raise a girl? The answer to this and other questions is outlined below.

Corner for baby

From about the age of one and a half, girls begin to identify themselves by gender. This usually happens in the game. Why do girls play “mother and daughter”? Most likely, because a woman has a natural desire to take care of someone. Since childhood, she unconsciously feels that she must fulfill her mission of procreation. And the game is a kind of training for her. It is no coincidence that education begins with... Buying toys. This does not mean that your daughter needs to buy only dolls. But she’s simply not interested in playing with cars. The girl needs her own corner with toy dishes, furniture, pillows and blankets. Here she can, as it were, build her nest. It is advisable that adults intrude less into this corner. In play, a child experiences many important things, learns, and masters the rules of behavior in society. In addition, the game is a mirror for parents. Watch your daughter, and you will notice that in the game she uses your words, gestures, and manner of communication. We are all not perfect, and with the help of a child you can spot your mistakes in parenting.

Clean house

From an early age (from about a year old), involve your girl in doing housework together. Take the trouble to buy her a mop or broom. First, try presenting cleaning in the form of a game. At the same time, gradually teach them to be careful and ask them to finish what they started. There is no need to forbid the baby to do her “household” chores - let her wash and vacuum, even if she doesn’t succeed at first. Let your child contribute as much as she can to completing homework. It is clear that mom will do everything herself faster and better, for example, sweep the same floors. But if you forbid a girl to help, she may form a complex within herself, and self-doubt will appear. And in addition, this will discourage you from doing household chores for a long time. There is also the problem of lack of communication with children. As usually happens: mom comes home from work and immediately goes to the kitchen - prepares food, then does the laundry. There is simply no time to work with a child, but if he gets under your arm, they simply brush him off. But try to do everything together. It may take longer to cook and clean up, but your little one will have fun and practice! And the mother will immediately kill not two, but three birds with one stone: she will do her homework, teach her daughter a lot and compensate for the lack of communication.

Instilling taste

Sometimes this is a big secret for mothers - how to dress a girl? Here, oddly enough, it is worth giving the child the right to choose. For example, a girl up to two years old wore only panties. The baby really liked the below-the-knee dress her mother once gave her. Since then, she asks to buy only dresses “like princesses” and refuses to wear anything else. In such cases, you can, of course, force what you like onto the child. But is it worth it? You will ruin the mood for both him and yourself. Besides, imposing your opinion will not lead to anything good. It may happen that when your daughter grows up, she will not be able to choose her own clothes and will constantly need someone’s advice. You shouldn’t insist that she wear certain colors and styles, but you should explain which shoes will go with which outfit. It is important to instill good taste in a girl. Explain that there are casual and festive clothes, tell us what the difference is. Teach to treat things with care. Usually girls worry if they accidentally tear or stain their dress. By the way, you can immediately offer her to mend everything herself. It’s not scary if it doesn’t work out right away, but the baby will appreciate her mother’s work and will be more careful. Many parents braid their daughters’ hair almost until the tenth grade.

Meanwhile, a girl already at one and a half years old is able to comb her own hair. Show how it's done, tell her what hairstyles will suit her. You will save yourself from unnecessary troubles, and your daughter will become more independent. A little fashionista should have her own jewelry. And mom will tell you how to choose the right one for your outfit. Mom's cosmetics have a magical effect on her daughter. The baby sees how her mother puts on makeup, and she also wants to be attractive. Don't hide cosmetics from your child. Better explain how to use all these things. Let the girl have her own cosmetics: hygienic lipstick, children's perfume and nail polish. Taste and more taste. Raising him in childhood is one of the primary tasks in raising a girl. In the future, she will have to not only choose outfits, but also design the interior of the house. And there - and develop the taste of your daughter.

The mystery of the first kiss

Both parents must participate in raising a girl. But the leading role, perhaps, still belongs to the mother. It is she who will initiate her daughter into the feminine sacraments. And this can only be done if we trust each other. Here's one example. The girl, coming from kindergarten, admitted that she had kissed the boy. The first kiss is a reverent event that remains in memory for years, and it is valuable that the child shared it with his mother. Earning your child's trust is not easy. Children do not forgive injustice or deception. Be open and sincere with your daughter. Don't want your daughter to have secrets from you? Show your love and respect in different ways.

In turn, a father for a girl is, first of all, a guarantor of security and a good friend. She feels protected with him. You can indulge in various pranks with dad (even ride him on horseback) and play ball. It is important that the father pays a lot of attention to his daughter, giving not only toys but also flowers on March 8, thereby showing that he sees her as a little lady. However, there is no need to pamper and patronize your daughter too much. Otherwise, she will have difficulty choosing a husband. American actress Liza Minnelli, for example, admitted that for a long time she could not find her chosen one: not a single candidate could stand comparison with a caring father who refused her nothing. It has been proven that a woman chooses as a companion a person who is similar to her parent or completely opposite - it all depends on what kind of relationship there was in the family. If the baby does not have a father, the example of a “real husband” can be, for example, a grandfather or uncle.

On the picture : fashionable rubber boots for girls(Online store Tovarik.com.ua, section For children)

Hygiene of body and soul

One of the main points in how to raise a girl is hygiene. A girl needs to be taught hygiene from the cradle. And here parents often face difficulties, because children are curious, they discover the world around them every minute (and within themselves too). It is better if the baby hears from her mother the answers to her questions about anatomy; from her, and not from the neighbor girl, she learns about the structure of the body. Soul hygiene is no less important. What is the ideal woman in modern society? Kind, affectionate, patient, able to empathize. A woman of the 21st century must also be erudite and be able to stand up for herself. How to cultivate these qualities in a girl? First of all, by personal example.

One way or another, the child adopts the mother’s vision of the world. If you allow yourself to be tough and harsh towards your spouse, the girl will behave the same way with her future partner. Children reflexively try to be like their parents; the young imitator is inspired by a living example, and not by exhortations and educational conversations. But often adults, calling for one thing, do the opposite. The child believes not so much in his ears as in his eyes. Introduce your daughter to the world of art, teach her to sing and dance, draw, write poetry, and introduce her to the rules of etiquette. Remember that children require a lot of warmth and love. But love must be reasonable. Whether you can comprehend the essence of the secret for mothers on how to raise a girl, and what requirements you will make of your daughter, depends on what kind of woman her future husband will accept from your hands.

On the picture:captivating children's pen- lights up when a child writes, an excellent assistant for a child who is learning to write or draw (Online store Tovarik.com.ua, section Learning and creativity)

In principle, you need to approach raising children responsibly, but look around - how many such examples in life can we name? Personally, I don’t have one. For some reason, for many parents, raising a real lady means instilling in her good manners, or, simply put, teaching her the rules of etiquette that they themselves know. In fact, this process is much richer and more multifaceted. And, accordingly, it will require a lot of time, effort and self-education from parents.

But how strong are educational stereotypes...

“Don't be greedy! Let the boy have his bunny to play with!”

- a mother rips out a toy from her daughter in the sandbox so that someone else’s child does not cry, reaching out for the coveted (and, mind you, someone else’s!) plush hare.

Now imagine an adult lady. Will she hastily empty her purse of all its contents so that no one will be jealous? Of course not. So, maybe you shouldn’t deprive your baby to please someone?

If you are too zealous in your desire to supposedly teach your child to share, there is a high risk that you will succeed. And then the baby’s forced “kindness” will be used by all and sundry: in kindergarten she will give away toys, at school she will do homework for her lazy girlfriends, and at work she will constantly “help out” her colleagues. This is not what you wanted, is it?

Raise a Lady: teach to change. Don't give away the toy, but exchange it. “Honey, look, the girl wants to play with your bunny. Maybe she will offer you her balloons - you can run around with them! Will you switch for a while?” Let someone else’s child hear your words, then he will willingly agree to such cooperation. And your lady will learn that the exchange is completely harmless, because for an ordinary and familiar hare you can get wonderful balloons for the game.

What to do if your girl does not agree to the exchange? Retreat. But try next time. Even babies often have an inflexible character, so let her make her own choice (you don’t like all people either). She will need this more than once in her life.

“You must listen to me!”

This is undoubtedly correct, but with some reservations. A real lady learns on her own and must make her own decisions. Don’t be upset if your child categorically does not respond to the word “no” or “because I said so.” Bans won't do anything: resort to explanation.

Raise a Lady: Explain with logic that is understandable for the child’s age what benefits following your instructions will give him. And how upset you will be if she does the opposite and, say, it backfires. Remember some incident from the past: for example, when you told not to take needles, but your daughter grabbed it and injected herself.

An accessible explanation is the best contribution to raising a real lady. You will teach her not to obey, but to understand and reflect. This is much more meaningful! By mastering a reasonable approach to making any decision, your girl will be much more independent than her peers. And you can calmly entrust her with any task or let her go for a walk with her friends in the park, knowing that nothing will happen to her: your smart, sensible girl won’t do anything stupid without her mother’s supervision.

“Be polite to everyone!”

Oh, what an ambiguous requirement this is! But psychologists also advise not to accumulate everything within yourself! Have you noticed that an impeccably polite, sweet and pleasant person in all respects, if we put aside his ostentatious success, not everything is as smooth as it could be? There are no perfect people, just like we don’t like every person. By forcing a child to cheat and be equally polite and smiling with everyone, you are thereby driving them into the framework of etiquette to the detriment of personality development. And indeed it is.

This does not mean that there is no need to teach your child behavior. Need to. But - without going too far. A real lady knows how to behave at the table and use cutlery, she will carry on a conversation and dresses with taste. This is definitely worth teaching.

Raise a Lady: A real lady will never offend a person with rudeness! If you don’t like a person, try to keep communication with him to a minimum - tell your baby about it.

“Here I am at your age!..”

The little lady is your daughter, but not your copy. Besides – let’s be honest! – many children’s pranks are forgotten over time, and adults love to attribute infallibility to themselves.

Raise a Lady: Tell us about your childhood pranks! Yes, yes, let the baby know that you were a child too! This story will only bring you closer, and the lady will begin to tell you her childhood secrets. Why not? After all, a mother should be a real lady’s best friend!

“Take my example!”

But this is very good advice. But. Mom will have to really lead by example. Have you always wanted to lose weight? Go on a diet and exercise immediately! Go to a cosmetologist? Sign up with him right now! And don’t worry that by spending time on yourself, you’re taking it away from your child. Not at all! It will be useful for a girl to know and see that she needs to take care of herself. Plus, you can take it with you.

The baby will be proud and happy if she does fitness with her mother. Or he will sit in a chair, looking at magazines or doing coloring books while you are at the beautician.

Raise a Lady: give her a manicure (no need to paint your nails, just show that even her little nails need care), and an interesting hairstyle on Sunday when going for a walk. If you want her to be interested in art, visit art galleries, theaters, and exhibitions together.

A real lady has it all

This is a very delicate moment. You shouldn’t buy all the toys that the lady points her finger at. Real ladies don’t do this: they only need what they really need, so before making a purchase or asking her parents for it, she will think a hundred times whether she really needs this thing or outfit.

Most likely, you have heard the phrase that we have exactly as much money as we need. Something like this happens to children: psychologists note that children who were pampered and who were accustomed to the fact that they, in essence, had everything they needed, realized themselves much more successfully in adult life than their peers who grew up in strictness.

Are you throwing a party in honor of your baby's birthday? Decoration with balloons, bright posters with congratulations and cartoon characters, a beautiful cake and light snacks will come in very handy. Stock up on new full-length cartoons, come up with a couple of interesting games - and your birthday girl will be delighted!

You don't have to have an expensive party. There are many budget solutions, a couple of bright accents in which will make the celebration unforgettable for both the little guests, the hero of the occasion, and their parents!

Every mother should know how to raise her daughter to be a real lady, even if she still acts like a real tomboy.

There is nothing wrong with your girl loving the spartan, “boyish” way of games, but despite this, both during the game and after it ends, she must remember that she is still a girl.

Here are seven tips on how to raise your girl to be a young lady who can remain strong and confident without losing her girlish modesty and dignity.

1. Be a good example

This is perhaps the most effective of all tips: the easiest way to teach your daughter to be a real lady is through your own example.

Children, like sponges, greedily absorb everything that surrounds them, especially when it comes to the behavior of the closest people - their parents.

If your daughter sees her mother, that is, you, acting like a lady and dressing like a lady, there is a very high probability that she will follow your example.

Make sure your words match your actions because children will repeat everything they see or hear around them.

2. Work on the girl’s inner world

Inner peace and inner content are the main thing. Parents should teach a girl from an early age to develop modesty, kindness, love, mercy, dignity, and throughout her life to take care of the purity of her soul and body.

A girl may look as sweet as an angel, but if she lacks goodwill and modesty, her cuteness is deceptive.

3. Words matter a lot

One of the most important components of a lady's behavior is control over what words she utters. And we are talking here not so much about curses, which clearly do not correspond to the image of a lady, but about unkind, offensive words, gossip, gossip, empty and immodest conversations, from which you would like to protect your daughter. It is necessary in every possible way to avoid speaking ill of the authorities, neighbors or others, or grumbling about people or circumstances.

Habits form very quickly during childhood and adolescence, so try to keep your speech as respectful, positive and uplifting as possible.

4. Pay attention to your clothes

Nowadays, even clothes for little girls have lost their charm and modesty, let alone clothes for girls, which, on the one hand, suppress femininity and imitate men's style, and on the other, are indecently immodest.

A real lady will not allow herself to wear immodest, revealing clothes, and will not overuse clothes in a masculine style. She will strive for elegance, competent combinatorics, a sense of proportion and will certainly take into account the features of the place where she is going.

5. Encourage femininity

A woman can remain feminine even if she needs to be strong, independent and confident.

A woman’s lack of charm and grace does not give her additional strength, will and energy, but deprives her of femininity, and those around her - the desire and desire to treat her very delicately, as a valuable and fragile vessel.

Encourage your daughter to be sweet, soft and welcoming in her own way, and if she loves pink, lace and ribbons, allow her to decorate herself with them.

Even a tomboy can be feminine in her own way, so it depends on you how much she (with your help) can find a comfortable balance for herself and gradually transform into a lady.

6. Don't allow yourself to humiliate a girl.

The fastest way to kill a young lady is to yell at her, humiliate her, or take out your angry feelings on her.

There is a big difference between the parental duty of upbringing, which can be expressed in the fact that the mother strictly reprimands her daughter, and taking out her anger on her.

A lady must have character, so start your education with encouraging words and a life-affirming attitude.

7. Teach your girl responsibility

Does it ever happen that your daughter throws a tantrum and stomps her feet because you didn't buy her a doll? Or begins to use not the best words that she heard from strangers? Or treats his toys poorly and starts lying? Harassing children on the playground?

Remember that all actions have consequences, and if you don't make sure your daughter understands this and learns the rules of behavior from a very young age, she may face more difficulties in adulthood.